How do you deal with a toddler who is throwing tantrums, either by crying or screaming? You

may not know the reason for the tantrums. The toddler may be unwell, teething, overstimulated,

having separation anxiety or is stress. Or the toddler may be seeking attention because he is not getting what he wants.

Children are smart learners. Once they know what works to get your attention, they keep repeating the same pattern.

Here are FOUR possible ways to deal with them:

Punishment

Punish them when they throw tantrums. For example, time out by sitting in a corner for a period of time. Some experts suggest the duration ties in with their age group. For example:

1 year old – 1 minute,

3 years old – 3 minutes,

5 years old – 5 minutes.

Give them what they want

Bribe them. Silence them with a toy, an Ipad, game or whatever they want.

Distract them

Distract them with something more interesting so that they forgot their initial demand.

Let the tantrum runs its course

Walk away. Let them cry it out until they have finished and then speak to them.

Maybe they will learn that they do not always get what they want. Maybe they will learn that they

only get attention when they finish crying, not when they are crying. It is not easy to let your child cry. It takes patience. But over time, they will learn. We can either reinforce bad behaviour or good behaviour. We shape their behaviour and habit by how we respond to their anxiety. Some parents think that their kids are fragile and are not capable of coping, so they need pampering.

But can we challenge them to do better, with some tough love?